Tuesday
Monday
Blog 185, April 19 2010 Life Ended Yesterday, ReStarts Tomorrow
The short term TV series LIFE ended yesterday... a big loss to the nature and animal loving world... BUT, now National Geographic is starting a new TV channel all about animals... because Animal Planet sucks balls.
Life was going to restart tomorrow... BUT, I dont smoke weed so I'm really not affected in any way WHAT-SO-EVER.
BUT!!!! Big and exciting things coming up. Big and yum exciting. Hott
Big thing! Is the movie Avatar is being released on DVD on Earth Day which is a whole new big thing on its own. Also big would be the new eco friendly sun-chip bag. AFTER WAITING for 5 months to finally be able to buy some sunchips that I can plant in my back yard, I can.
DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE how amazing it will be to be able to eat chips while doing yardwork, and then when I'm done eating just bury the bag of chips wherever I am working?! SO CONVENIENT!
And on the note of conveniency, the following is not convenient:
The letter " ". I have not used this letter at all in this ENTIRE BLOG! So what the hell is the point of having a letter " " when I wont even type it in the 500 plus words in this blog?!
WELLLLLLL??? No excuses huh?! You simply cannot find a reason to exist letter " " now can you!
BUT! There is a place where this letter is EXTREMELY relevant.
Its called the Museum of " " on the corner of DOESNT EXIST BECAUSE NOBODY USES IT
Lady Gaga is going to be on Fuse and she's going to be living and breathing and doing stuff and its gonna be great just like everything she does. OK I need to think of something exciting to do before you end this relationship with this blog...
Well I am going to get some random pictures of things and show them to you now.
Oh... I'm sorry... I should have warned you that they would be pictures of hot guys, amazing hair, and duct tape creations!
AH PIERRE FITCH IS SO FUCK-ME-NOW HOT
Next would be Ryan Phillippe! The man who hosted SNL this previous Saturday who is quiie sexilicious... but quite the bad actor.
OK, and nowwwwwwwwwwwwwww: a list of pictures that have nothing to do with the ones before them!
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST! Is a link to watch the funniest SNL skit ever just because they cant stop laughing and neither can I! Seriously! Every single time this skit is done nobody on the cast can keep a straight face the whole time.
This one isnt the funniest, but its still pretty good: http://www.hulu.com/watch/19280/saturday-night-live-debbie-downer-birthday-party
OK NOW THIS ONE IS THE FUNNIEST EVERRRRRRRRRR: http://www.hulu.com/watch/68225/saturday-night-live-debbie-downer
lmao
Life was going to restart tomorrow... BUT, I dont smoke weed so I'm really not affected in any way WHAT-SO-EVER.
BUT!!!! Big and exciting things coming up. Big and yum exciting. Hott
Big thing! Is the movie Avatar is being released on DVD on Earth Day which is a whole new big thing on its own. Also big would be the new eco friendly sun-chip bag. AFTER WAITING for 5 months to finally be able to buy some sunchips that I can plant in my back yard, I can.
DO YOU HAVE ANY CLUE how amazing it will be to be able to eat chips while doing yardwork, and then when I'm done eating just bury the bag of chips wherever I am working?! SO CONVENIENT!
And on the note of conveniency, the following is not convenient:
The letter " ". I have not used this letter at all in this ENTIRE BLOG! So what the hell is the point of having a letter " " when I wont even type it in the 500 plus words in this blog?!
WELLLLLLL??? No excuses huh?! You simply cannot find a reason to exist letter " " now can you!
BUT! There is a place where this letter is EXTREMELY relevant.
Its called the Museum of " " on the corner of DOESNT EXIST BECAUSE NOBODY USES IT
Lady Gaga is going to be on Fuse and she's going to be living and breathing and doing stuff and its gonna be great just like everything she does. OK I need to think of something exciting to do before you end this relationship with this blog...
Well I am going to get some random pictures of things and show them to you now.
Oh... I'm sorry... I should have warned you that they would be pictures of hot guys, amazing hair, and duct tape creations!
AH PIERRE FITCH IS SO FUCK-ME-NOW HOT
Next would be Ryan Phillippe! The man who hosted SNL this previous Saturday who is quiie sexilicious... but quite the bad actor.
OK, and nowwwwwwwwwwwwwww: a list of pictures that have nothing to do with the ones before them!
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST! Is a link to watch the funniest SNL skit ever just because they cant stop laughing and neither can I! Seriously! Every single time this skit is done nobody on the cast can keep a straight face the whole time.
This one isnt the funniest, but its still pretty good: http://www.hulu.com/watch/19280/saturday-night-live-debbie-downer-birthday-party
OK NOW THIS ONE IS THE FUNNIEST EVERRRRRRRRRR: http://www.hulu.com/watch/68225/saturday-night-live-debbie-downer
lmao
Friday
Blog 184, April 16 2010, Breaking of the Bullshit
WEYELLLL, right now I'm supposed to be at Breaking of the Silence for gay people and yada yada whatever.
So I'm pumped all day to go, but then I get to the library, and get a text from mom saying that I'm grounded and can't go because I lied to her about making up labs.
That bitch has not punished me for LITERALLY, 16 years.
So now she's just randomly and spuratically deciding to jump into punishment and I just said "Its not gonna work, every time you take things away from me I get worse"
And she was like, IF YOU LEAVE THE LIBRARY YOU'LL
And she didnt finish, she was just like "STAY AT THE LIBRARY AND THEN I'LL GET THERE AND WE WILL TALK"
I told her that I was gonna go home and shoot myself in the head because she was being so stupid.
She ignored that comment :P
Then she kept finding reasons to call me back scream then hang up so eventually I just texted her saying: "You are four kids ride home, if we don't go, they are stranded."
So now I'm just sitting here waiting for the bitch instead of going with my other friends and I'm definitely gonna be late enough that I'm gonna be fucking pissed. This car ride home is gonna be fun, I'm just going to ignore ever word that comes out of her mouth seeing as all she does is scream thinking that it will get her somewhere...
Yeah, not with me... haha
So I'm pumped all day to go, but then I get to the library, and get a text from mom saying that I'm grounded and can't go because I lied to her about making up labs.
That bitch has not punished me for LITERALLY, 16 years.
So now she's just randomly and spuratically deciding to jump into punishment and I just said "Its not gonna work, every time you take things away from me I get worse"
And she was like, IF YOU LEAVE THE LIBRARY YOU'LL
And she didnt finish, she was just like "STAY AT THE LIBRARY AND THEN I'LL GET THERE AND WE WILL TALK"
I told her that I was gonna go home and shoot myself in the head because she was being so stupid.
She ignored that comment :P
Then she kept finding reasons to call me back scream then hang up so eventually I just texted her saying: "You are four kids ride home, if we don't go, they are stranded."
So now I'm just sitting here waiting for the bitch instead of going with my other friends and I'm definitely gonna be late enough that I'm gonna be fucking pissed. This car ride home is gonna be fun, I'm just going to ignore ever word that comes out of her mouth seeing as all she does is scream thinking that it will get her somewhere...
Yeah, not with me... haha
Wednesday
Blog 183, April 14 2010, WHAT WHAT WHAT?!
Holy shit people we have reached 200! This is psycho crazy. This is amazing!
200!
YES YES YES!
200 episodes of South Park and they still have managed not to get canceled for more then half a year!
In celebration of 200, I'm going to do a couple things.
(spelling?) Itenerary:
1. List of South Park quotes and events that make me. die. dead.
2. One song by each of my new favorite unsigned bands
3. Hopes for the future (not in the corny way, is the future-istic-lee way)
1:
Mr. Garrison in the South Park Movie: "I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." My retort: worms
Jewish Kid: "Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate."
Cartman: "Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp."
My retort: me and my friend Megan and two gay guys killed Hitler in a dream of mine... so Jewish kid, you are safe.
Chef: "You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks." My retort: I got nothing...
This episode had me rolling on the floor dying. I dont joke when I say that its the funniest episode South Park has ever had.
CHEECKEN AND COWWWWWWWWW
And now I move on to 2
2:
Sorry, I cant find any videos with better clarity then this one. Really good. They play at a coffee shop on Madison Ave every Monday. Amazing. All of their songs are meant to go with the dance move skanking. So much fun.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS GROUP, I'm not even kidding you. They are amazing and the guys are gorgeous. :D :D
Last but NOT least is Mother Mcrees, met them on the best day of my life so far. Some of their songs put you on a drug trip, you just want to fade out into the song. They'll be at Valentines on 4/20 so thats gonna be... um... suiting. Haha
So this is the band before they got their new lead vocalist. She's a girl, and absolutely an amazing singer.
Comment if you have any questions on any of these bands, I can give you the links to their FB's, MySpace's, or whatever else.
3: My plans for the future are to FUCKING CLIMB MUSTAFA ON FRIDAY! Oh yeah, Breaking of the Silence this weekend. SO PUMPED, I finally get to hang out with my friend who moved to Vermont for the first time in a long time. LONG time.
And that is my extremely long blog for the day. PEACE OUT
200!
YES YES YES!
200 episodes of South Park and they still have managed not to get canceled for more then half a year!
In celebration of 200, I'm going to do a couple things.
(spelling?) Itenerary:
1. List of South Park quotes and events that make me. die. dead.
2. One song by each of my new favorite unsigned bands
3. Hopes for the future (not in the corny way, is the future-istic-lee way)
1:
Mr. Garrison in the South Park Movie: "I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." My retort: worms
Jewish Kid: "Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate."
Cartman: "Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp."
My retort: me and my friend Megan and two gay guys killed Hitler in a dream of mine... so Jewish kid, you are safe.
Chef: "You know what they say: You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks." My retort: I got nothing...
This episode had me rolling on the floor dying. I dont joke when I say that its the funniest episode South Park has ever had.
CHEECKEN AND COWWWWWWWWW
And now I move on to 2
2:
Sorry, I cant find any videos with better clarity then this one. Really good. They play at a coffee shop on Madison Ave every Monday. Amazing. All of their songs are meant to go with the dance move skanking. So much fun.
I FUCKING LOVE THIS GROUP, I'm not even kidding you. They are amazing and the guys are gorgeous. :D :D
Last but NOT least is Mother Mcrees, met them on the best day of my life so far. Some of their songs put you on a drug trip, you just want to fade out into the song. They'll be at Valentines on 4/20 so thats gonna be... um... suiting. Haha
So this is the band before they got their new lead vocalist. She's a girl, and absolutely an amazing singer.
Comment if you have any questions on any of these bands, I can give you the links to their FB's, MySpace's, or whatever else.
3: My plans for the future are to FUCKING CLIMB MUSTAFA ON FRIDAY! Oh yeah, Breaking of the Silence this weekend. SO PUMPED, I finally get to hang out with my friend who moved to Vermont for the first time in a long time. LONG time.
And that is my extremely long blog for the day. PEACE OUT
Monday
Sunday
Blog 181, April 11 2010 Doors to Spring Break, Closed
Well now that Spring Break is coming to a close, the time for Epiphanies, Trees named Mustafa, and weight loss is here.
And Lady Gaga
Epiphanies- Stop waisting time with those who will not mature, and mature yourself.
Tree named Mustafa- Tree with its first branch about 15ft off the ground in my families woods. Only two people have made it into the Lion Club (people to climb up that tree) and that would be my best friend, and my sisters fionce. Today I touched the tree branch, but got scared and pussed out. F U stupid nerves of melted steel.
Weight loss- I dont know how to describe the fact that I'm losing weight... hmmmm... I'm losing weight.
Done!
Oh yeah! Lady Gaga- If I meet her my life will be complete.
Me just got a new jean jacket, 2 new pairs of shoes, 2 shirts, and a new attitude. I like this day (minus the million labs due at home)
OK! And now to follow along with the odd tradition that I am making for myself. I believe that the hour midnight, should be gotten rid of.
Yes, the hour midnight.
From 12-1am on Thursday nights is the best show to ever be created by anybody ever.
Well the little caption on the picture saying 10:30 lies. They moved it to midnight!
On school nights, lads like me are TIRED!
I love this show and BITCHY comedy central moved it ALLLLL because comments like this!
"If we can put a man on the moon, we can put a man
with AIDS on the moon. And pretty soon, well be able to put
everyone with AIDS on the moon!"
And there are also things like her getting high and deciding to call her sober self telling her the secrets of an "evil" company.
!!!! OR!!!! Sarah Silverman decides to make the world like vans and advises all children to get into any strangers van just in case they may be fun. But then she starts to feel like a child molester because of the vans shape...
HMMMMMMMMMMMMM, what to do now that I am insanelly bored...
List of possibilities:
Climb a Tree (nah... heartbroken from Mustafa)
Rip off Clothes and Eat Sushi (I have only had sushi once and I threw up on my dads bed... so no)
Make a Sign Advertising Fake Porn (Got me with that one)
And Lady Gaga
Epiphanies- Stop waisting time with those who will not mature, and mature yourself.
Tree named Mustafa- Tree with its first branch about 15ft off the ground in my families woods. Only two people have made it into the Lion Club (people to climb up that tree) and that would be my best friend, and my sisters fionce. Today I touched the tree branch, but got scared and pussed out. F U stupid nerves of melted steel.
Weight loss- I dont know how to describe the fact that I'm losing weight... hmmmm... I'm losing weight.
Done!
Oh yeah! Lady Gaga- If I meet her my life will be complete.
Me just got a new jean jacket, 2 new pairs of shoes, 2 shirts, and a new attitude. I like this day (minus the million labs due at home)
OK! And now to follow along with the odd tradition that I am making for myself. I believe that the hour midnight, should be gotten rid of.
Yes, the hour midnight.
From 12-1am on Thursday nights is the best show to ever be created by anybody ever.
Well the little caption on the picture saying 10:30 lies. They moved it to midnight!
On school nights, lads like me are TIRED!
I love this show and BITCHY comedy central moved it ALLLLL because comments like this!
"If we can put a man on the moon, we can put a man
with AIDS on the moon. And pretty soon, well be able to put
everyone with AIDS on the moon!"
And there are also things like her getting high and deciding to call her sober self telling her the secrets of an "evil" company.
!!!! OR!!!! Sarah Silverman decides to make the world like vans and advises all children to get into any strangers van just in case they may be fun. But then she starts to feel like a child molester because of the vans shape...
HMMMMMMMMMMMMM, what to do now that I am insanelly bored...
List of possibilities:
Climb a Tree (nah... heartbroken from Mustafa)
Rip off Clothes and Eat Sushi (I have only had sushi once and I threw up on my dads bed... so no)
Make a Sign Advertising Fake Porn (Got me with that one)
Wednesday
Blog 180, March 30 2010, Sitting in Word Processing
I HAVE FOUND THE COOLEST PENS IN THE WORLD!
They spin as the pen is pushed into the paper. Unfortunately, I personally do not like objects that can just up and leave me...
Next is the frog pen:
Anyone else WANT that pen?
Ok, I got one more.
So just imagine... your on a picture perfect date with the person you are in love with and everything is going perfect when all of a sudden your significant other pronounces their true love to you, and gets down on a knee, to engage. They reach into their pocket and pull out
this.
And this leads me to my next topic! On top of the fact that we as humans must erase all traces of doors, we should also be getting rid of hands.
Thats right... HANDS, the evil little things that cause so much pain and misery.
Reasoning! When people have hands, they can simply ruin everything.
For example, if I were to go up and grab my friends ass in the hallway, her hands have the (accidental) ability to shoot back and tap me in the... ow.
Therefore, hands=bad
They spin as the pen is pushed into the paper. Unfortunately, I personally do not like objects that can just up and leave me...
Next is the frog pen:
Anyone else WANT that pen?
Ok, I got one more.
So just imagine... your on a picture perfect date with the person you are in love with and everything is going perfect when all of a sudden your significant other pronounces their true love to you, and gets down on a knee, to engage. They reach into their pocket and pull out
this.
And this leads me to my next topic! On top of the fact that we as humans must erase all traces of doors, we should also be getting rid of hands.
Thats right... HANDS, the evil little things that cause so much pain and misery.
Reasoning! When people have hands, they can simply ruin everything.
For example, if I were to go up and grab my friends ass in the hallway, her hands have the (accidental) ability to shoot back and tap me in the... ow.
Therefore, hands=bad
Tuesday
Blog 179, March 30 2010, I'd Like to Start This With... IN YO FACE
IN YO FACE!
Reasoning: best friend of mine forgot all of his passwords and we have been conspiring to figure out what they were but... I got my phone taken away so it became harder to talk to him and get him my predictions. WELL, I finally found a home phone that was in the closet and plugged it in at the only phone cord available... in my mothers room.
Which has a lock.
What assholes.
Fuck you Jim (stepdad that PMS's)
WELLLLLLL, they let me use the phone every once and a while so we would talk on the phone and try even harder to remember his password.
Now with spring break coming up it is our time to hang out and... remember passwords.
BUT, he lost his phone.
So I say IN YO FACE! mainly because that would lead me to my next topic:
Doors should be outlawed.
I hate doors.
Doors are bitches. Much like passwords.
Resoning: If doors were gone, people wouldnt walk through screen doors, or shatter the glass doors that they don't see.
If there were no doors, you could more easily and "accidentally" walk in on people having sex that you want to walk in on because they wouldn't be able to say "WHY DIDNT YOU KNOCK?! mmmmm, harder"
Also! If there werent doors, then nobody would try to turn the door handle but unfortunately and accidentally not turn it far enough and keep walking straight into that hard wooden door on their way out from gym. Just saying.
And that is why I decree... that we should all rip our doors off of the hinges, and instead, hang these things that tickle when they touch you.
And that is all for today, REMEMBER TO COMMENT IF YOU EXIST
Reasoning: best friend of mine forgot all of his passwords and we have been conspiring to figure out what they were but... I got my phone taken away so it became harder to talk to him and get him my predictions. WELL, I finally found a home phone that was in the closet and plugged it in at the only phone cord available... in my mothers room.
Which has a lock.
What assholes.
Fuck you Jim (stepdad that PMS's)
WELLLLLLL, they let me use the phone every once and a while so we would talk on the phone and try even harder to remember his password.
Now with spring break coming up it is our time to hang out and... remember passwords.
BUT, he lost his phone.
So I say IN YO FACE! mainly because that would lead me to my next topic:
Doors should be outlawed.
I hate doors.
Doors are bitches. Much like passwords.
Resoning: If doors were gone, people wouldnt walk through screen doors, or shatter the glass doors that they don't see.
If there were no doors, you could more easily and "accidentally" walk in on people having sex that you want to walk in on because they wouldn't be able to say "WHY DIDNT YOU KNOCK?! mmmmm, harder"
Also! If there werent doors, then nobody would try to turn the door handle but unfortunately and accidentally not turn it far enough and keep walking straight into that hard wooden door on their way out from gym. Just saying.
And that is why I decree... that we should all rip our doors off of the hinges, and instead, hang these things that tickle when they touch you.
And that is all for today, REMEMBER TO COMMENT IF YOU EXIST
Saturday
Blog 178 March 27 2010, Weekend Over and You Bet Your Ass I Remembered
HEYO people of the internet who wisely waste their lives away for the benefit of wasting their lives on something that is worthy of life wasting!
I'm just here to blog about the everyday life of the completely retarded people who live in this world.
OK, so since I have been gone for SUCH a long time... I just wanted to give you a brief overview of every thing that has happened in the world ever since I stopped blogging:
NOTHING
Um... health care is still boring as shit... I personally dont care seeing as health care cant influence me when I die from doing a stupid life risking stunt.
Hmmmmm... I still have nada boyfriend but I do have a cute guy who likes me so I think I'm on my way
I have been oddly caring about my reputation a lot lately...
And I now have a ravenous blood-thirsty dog that ONLY attacks my best friend for some pathetic odd reason.
Me and that best friend broke my trampoline on Friday... weak
And I'm still, as always, posting from the library... where odd stuff seems to happen every single day... such as the girl who looks like a guy from the cavemen Geico commercial who continually is walking back and forth with more books in her hand then jesus had followers.
LOVE YOU JC
jk
Ok... so if there is anybody reading this out there... please... comment so I dont sound like I'm blogging to myself
Perhaps I am alone in finding something about this absolutely hysterical...
NOTHING is better then a life with Lady Gaga in it... she has so many unaired songs that I love to be secretely obsessed with... and I thought I should start sharing them :P
I'm just here to blog about the everyday life of the completely retarded people who live in this world.
OK, so since I have been gone for SUCH a long time... I just wanted to give you a brief overview of every thing that has happened in the world ever since I stopped blogging:
NOTHING
Um... health care is still boring as shit... I personally dont care seeing as health care cant influence me when I die from doing a stupid life risking stunt.
Hmmmmm... I still have nada boyfriend but I do have a cute guy who likes me so I think I'm on my way
I have been oddly caring about my reputation a lot lately...
And I now have a ravenous blood-thirsty dog that ONLY attacks my best friend for some pathetic odd reason.
Me and that best friend broke my trampoline on Friday... weak
And I'm still, as always, posting from the library... where odd stuff seems to happen every single day... such as the girl who looks like a guy from the cavemen Geico commercial who continually is walking back and forth with more books in her hand then jesus had followers.
LOVE YOU JC
jk
Ok... so if there is anybody reading this out there... please... comment so I dont sound like I'm blogging to myself
Perhaps I am alone in finding something about this absolutely hysterical...
NOTHING is better then a life with Lady Gaga in it... she has so many unaired songs that I love to be secretely obsessed with... and I thought I should start sharing them :P
Friday
Blog 177, LONG Time No See
HEY! I promise that now I am back... for a while :D haha, I know that everytime I say I'm back I do about four blogs and then forget again, but I think that its finally about time I start blogging again.
Shits been CRAZY and so have I so I'm pretty sure this blog is gonna get pretty big... and a little insane.
Well weekends coming up and I am having a friend over to make baked onions tonight (just threw up in mouth) for a German project.
(Just got really dirty look from a librarian for throwing up in my mouth)
(And now I feel a little stupid because she is watching me type)
WELLLLLL, as always, I still do not have a home computer... but ANYWAYS, I will definitely start bloggin my terribly sad yet funny life stories and very odd thoughts on the world. So give me a hollar in the comment box if there is anything you want me to talk about on Monday, I'll try and get back into this as much as I can!
Shits been CRAZY and so have I so I'm pretty sure this blog is gonna get pretty big... and a little insane.
Well weekends coming up and I am having a friend over to make baked onions tonight (just threw up in mouth) for a German project.
(Just got really dirty look from a librarian for throwing up in my mouth)
(And now I feel a little stupid because she is watching me type)
WELLLLLL, as always, I still do not have a home computer... but ANYWAYS, I will definitely start bloggin my terribly sad yet funny life stories and very odd thoughts on the world. So give me a hollar in the comment box if there is anything you want me to talk about on Monday, I'll try and get back into this as much as I can!
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