Blog 110, May 31 2009 I Miss my Porn on Cinemax

I have learned something.
If you drive into a fire hydrant while black people are playing basketball, and break their stereo and get their shoes wet, making them stop playing basketball, they will help you fix your car. If you dont run away to attempt to hook up with a random model in Amsterdam, INTERUPTING MY PORN WHICH WAS PUT ON AUTOTUNE.
Thats right, the TV said that there was scheduled porn, but instead, all I got was

Now that movie is just sad. Apparantely they tried making a sequel in 2008, but it just fell through terribly due to the fact that it
INTERFERED WITH MY PORN!
Sorry, I'm still a little bit sensitive about the topic.
Oh my god! Thunderstorms are caused by baby making clouds losing their storks! Yup, its true
Speaking of which, I saw Up yesterday and it was one of the best movies that I have seen in a long time.
It is a childrens movie, but Pixar did an AMAZING job putting in all of the symbolism and the comedy and it was just so freaking good I couldnt believe it.

Then I saw Drag me to Hell
It sucked. It was the best horror movie of all time. Except the main character was a whore-slut-bitch-dick for what she did to her cat FOR NO REASON! But yeah, what makes a good horror movie? Hmmmm? What is it?
1. Bad acting
2. Bad graphic effects
3. Blood everywhere
4. Horror-humor
5. Animals doing weird things
6. Some cheesy religous reference
7. Predictable ending
8. Makes you jump
9. Comes up with a new horror element
Ok, now here is how Drag me to Hell was
(check)1. Bad acting
(check)2. Bad graphic effects
3. Blood everywhere
(check)4. Horror-humor
(check)5. Animals doing weird things
(check)6. Some cheesy religous reference
(check)7. Predictable ending
(check)8. Makes you jump
9. Comes up with a new horror element

Yup, 7/9. Worst movie ever, close to best horror movie ever.
OH! HOT GUYS HAVING SEX ON TV! By the way, if you are reading this, when somebody says "SQUIRREL!", look to the right and stare intently. MHMMM, thats right.
"Point"

"Point"
"no... thats Kevin..."
Oh.... POINT!
"Good dog!"
"MASTER!"
AHHHH, I loved Up so much. It is going to be a classic movie in the future. Everybody will love it when they see it, they have to, it was just so good. By the way, I guess Mandy isnt mad at me anymore. I dont know, it changes as the crickets flap their wings.
I am bored.
I thought that being on the computer at home would be more fun, but I guess it just bores me as time goes by... hmmm. OH! I GOT IT! Hot guy and hot girl of the day!
Here is the hot guy! What is up with me and water effects? gah, problems.

Yum

And here is you hot girl of the day. Rainbow colors, awesome dress, hair dye, and mohawk. Makes any gay guy go straight, loljk, not any day. Sor-ray

Thank you for watching those pictures of those people. Well now my brain has officially melted and withered away into nothing except for pudding and dried tomatoes. I hate tomatoes...
Peace for today, and enjoy this picture while I run away